Fuck Birthdays

Another year, another birthday party.... I'm beginning to wonder why I even bother with them. Can't I just grow old in peace? Next year, please, I beg you, NO PARTIES! The last 2 years I've left my own birthday party in tears.... not the "aww you guys I can't believe you did this! Its awesome" kind of tears either, rather, the "Please just let me sleep and never wake up again" kind. Every year it seems to get better and better.

I refuse to go into detail here, I simply needed a place to vent where I knew none of the people that I didn't really want to start on me would be privy to my writings. I do so hope this is at least somewhat coherent as I'm a little on the drunkish side and I'm freezing so I'm lying in my bed as I write this shaking.

I ask you, why, when its my birthday does someone else feel the need to be the center of attention? On normal nights this happens and I never care... but tonight, tonight was MY night.... I get one a year.... Am I not allowed to have it? Why must the fact that you "planned" my party be thrown in my face? I got news for you... I planned the damn thing, I told you when and where and who to invite.... you sent out e-vites. Okay, I'll admit you did plan a dinner for me, and then were pissed off because I couldn't come for dinner. I'm terribly sorry, if my family is coming to celebrate with me I can't ditch them! You had my closest friends at a dessert that way supposed to be a surprise. Well guess what??? NONE OF YOU CAN KEEP SECRETS! I knew what was happening the whole time. I guess I'm a better actress than I thought... totally fooled you when I said it was complete surprise didn't I?

Okay wait a minute... now I just sound like a selfish little bitch here. There's clearly more to this story. I am quite grateful for the hard work that went into creating the facebook event in which everyone was invited to and I was absolutely ecstatic to see those near and dear to me gathered at the restaurant for the surprise dessert. I will give you that, you did take care into planning that and for it I am grateful.... Its the way you acted after a few too many drinks and the things that you said. Yes, I said things back of course.... however, the things that I said were true... nothing I haven't called you out on before (while completely sober I might add). I'm sorry if you can't accept the person you are. If its not me its your other best friend, funny how those actually weren't my words.... They belong to another of your friends... Everyone sees what you are, its not just me.

Thank you, for taking the time and effort to "plan" my birthday party, that was nice of you. Even more thanks for RUINING it because you can't stand the fact that someone else is getting more attention than you for one night!

There... with this out, maybe I can sleep. I don't feel any better, but maybe I can at least fall into some kind of sleep.... hopefully a deep one that will hold me until sometime in the early afternoon.

Chin, Chin, God Bless,
T